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First College UK: PARENTS Parents are the primary educators of their children. This is far too often overlooked - or even completely unrecognised. But it is parents who carry the years of continuity from birth through to adult independence. (In the UK this is legally recognised.)Teachers, although they carry great influence and considerable authority for a while, are temporary, sometimes very temporary. It is therefore imperative that parents are recognised as educator partners, and welcomed into the school community as fully as they wish it. The power of the parent as central educator was recently demonstrated in a fascinating study by Professor Charles Desforges: "The Impact of Parental Involvement, Parental Support and Family Education on Pupil Achievement and Adjustment." DfES 2003, available at www.dfes.gov.uk/research/data/uploadfiles/RB433.pdf Desforges examined a wide range of school age influences on children, including the main educational techniques, family background, family money etc. What he found was that the sigle greatest influence on success in education and later on - is parental involvement. The huge importance of parents as educators is also demonstrated by the fast growing home education movement. There are very roughly three types of parent in terms of their wishes for involvement (cf. Dr. Catherine Hakim, LSE). Some live mainly with and through their child/ren: the children come first before all. Others adore their children, but other things in life are almost equally as important. These parents go to great lengths to balance their different commitments. The third group have a strong commitment to something big in their lives, and their child/ren must fit round it. High achieving parents often belong to this group and they act like managers, making sure that others provide a great deal of what their children need.None of these three groups are the "best" parents. They all do their best, but in different ways. The main difference is in how much time each type of parent has to give their children directly. But as long as a parent who doesn't have very much time with their children understands how crucially important that time is, they will use it well, and all will be well. Parents possess an amazing, almost magical power to lift their children into success, or otherwise.Even among full time DIY home educators though, this does not mean parents have to get a blackboard and give lessons every day. What parents are needed for, what cannot be done by anyone except a parent or closely trusted person, is to give encouragement. Desforges found that especially around the transition into the teens, encouragement by parents has a deep, long lasting effect. What does this mean? It has to mean giving time to the young person, and taking an interest in what they are doing. Struggling alone almost every day to get homework done, or understand a tricky book or instruction manual, is lonely, and anyone might get discouraged with that. But paying attention, giving encouragement, is surprisingly straightforward. It doesn't mean understanding what the student is doing! It doesn't mean asking clever questions! It doesn't mean explaining the work! That isn't the magical bit. The really fascinating, wondrous process is in giving compliments: "That looks interesting." "That looks like good work you're doing." "Good heavens! Have you done all that? How clever!" From a parent these comments dive into the brain like lasers, leaving a mark that will strengthen and inspire over the years. Similarly saying anything negative like "Haven't you finished YET?" or "Hmm that looks a bit messy" - even said lightly, with humour or affection, these too lie in the brain for many years. Parent power must be used carefully just because it is so very powerful. At home, asking questions must never test or interrogate, unless the student asks for help with self-testing. The parent should never worry about not knowing the answers: take it as a chance to learn bits too, or stick to the compliments! Of course if you do know the subject you'll be able to dive in and work more actively, sharing the knowledge that you have. But don't let that hold you back from your all-important role of BEING IMPRESSED.
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